Understand men

Although you can hear that men are all the same, things are not always that clear. Taking this into account, on this article I will try to describe some of the most important characteristics of a man's thinking and to explain why we behave like this. If you want to learn about men, I am sure you will find it interesting.

To understand men properly, I think the first thing we need to talk about is our genitalia. Actually, it is a reflection of how we see the world.

Unlike women, who have their genitalia inside their bodies, a man doesn't suffer from any hormonal see-saw during the month and is free to see what is around himself.

However, given that we are traditionally, potentially and biologically stronger than women (in strict physical terms, at least) we have carried the responsibility for protecting our families from outer aggressions since the dawn of times. This includes being responsible for providing "our females" with what they needed, of course, and specially during those times in which they were concentrated in taking care of our offspring.

A man knows that, sooner or later, he will have to resign to certain part of his freedom for his family's sake, so he has to be smart. Taking care of more than just one life is a responsibility that has never been easy to fulfil.

Moreover, despite the lots of bad men that have been out there for centuries, many others have stoically borne injustices and sacrifices just for the sake of fulfilling with this role as a good man is expected to do.

A game of power

We, men, are used to playing a game of power to fulfil our goals. For instance, a man is used to showing himself manly enough to beat anyone, anywhere... no matter what the challenge might be. Why? Simple, because this keeps ourselves away from outer aggressions.

Among men, a weak attitude is usually felt as an undercover attempt of aggression. A weak attitude soon triggers feelings like "Hey! He's afraid, why? Is he planning something and afraid to be discovered? Let's check out. What if he attacks? If he attacks, we will have to crush him".

Thus, in a man's world, this weakness summons fear, this fear, aggression and that aggression an answer. Not answering an aggression might always be taken as a new act of weakness, restarting the circle. So, if a man shows weakness before other men, this will bring him trouble.

So, a man cannot show himself less manly than the rest. Now you can understand why we fart or burp or drink or smoke just as the other men do when we are in a meeting.

We cannot break the game of power or we will be in trouble. I think it is already clear.

Yet, ironically, we cannot break the balance, either...

Why not? Because there are only two alternatives when a man shows himself way more powerful than the others: either he is respected as a leader of the group or feared and treated like a potential aggressor, with all its consequences.

It sounds stressful, doesn't it? It is.

This is probably why not only mothers but also wives and sisters keep on saying that men will be eternal kids: because it is at home where we know there won't be aggressions and where we can rest from the stressful lives we have outside. Inside, we unleash the tender, playful and affectionate side we have always had since we were little boys. Do we do this alone? No, we usually do this with a woman; but she does need to be a woman in who we can trust.

Who is the woman in whom he can trust? Well, it depends on every man, but basically she is a woman who loves us for what we really are, who knows us, who understands us, who supports us and —very important— who loves, understands and respects herself. She is not a woman who is looking forward to getting protection or a way to escape from the hell she lives at home, she's not a woman who is keeping an eye on our wallets or who keeps thinking she can use sex to catch us. A family is made of an honest man with an honest woman beside. If you want that for you, you just need to do your part.

Oh, well, yes... If a woman is not completely honest but she's pretty we can use her to have some fun and we will. Take her seriously, however, I don't think so.

Knowledge + You + Relationships